Our sister Remy Ma and our brother Papoose shared their experience with an ectopic pregnancy on Love and Hip Hop New York. I love this couple to the core. Amid foolishness and ratchetness, this strong Black couple has presented a beautiful manifestation of true Black love, loyalty and family on national television.
It has been an honor and privilege for this couple to let us into their life and daily experiences. We see the real triumphs and struggles of a modern Black family life.
We all saw their wedding and re-commitment to each other during Remy’s dream wedding. Papoose was ready to immediately start expanding that family. So since we’ve been following them so closely and feeling apart of their family, we were so happy to learn that Remy and Papoose became pregnant. Then soon after we learned that the pregnancy was ectopic.
It was fast. Yet, that’s how it feels for most couples who go through this experience. You get a positive pregnancy test and then things quickly change.The collective hearts of all those who adore this couple hit the floor when we learned that Remy’s pregnancy would not survive because it was ectopic.
What is an ectopic pregnancy?
An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy outside of the uterus. The most common place for an ectopic place is the fallopian tubes but they could be in the ovaries themselves as well in rare cases.
A fertilized egg should spend a few days in the fallopian tubes as it makes its way down to the uterus where it will implant. In the case of an ectopic pregnancy, the egg does not make its way to the uterus and continues to grow in the very small fallopian tubes.
What are the signs of an ectopic pregnancy?
A woman could experience shooting pains, pelvic pressure, and vaginal bleeding. Intense vomiting, bloating and cramping. Since some of the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy are the same as being pregnant in general, it’s important to schedule an appointment with an obstetric provider as soon as possible to get checked out. It’s important that women advocate for themselves if she suspects something is not right with her pregnancy. A sonogram is a common method to see where the egg is implanted.
What are the treatments?
The method for treating an ectopic pregnancy depends on how long the egg has been developing, where it is located, the mother’s health, and the mother’s desire to conceive again. Treatment options include chemotherapy, laser surgery, D&C or other treatments based on the individual’s plan of care. Ectopic pregnancy are not viable.
What to do after an ectopic pregnancy
After an ectopic pregnancy, it’s important that the mother gets as much bed rest as possible. If she’s had surgery, she’ll want to eat warm, soupy foods and broths for a few days. Gradually transition to a regular diet. The mom should be well hydrated with purified alkaline water. The mother may want a closing ceremony or Ancestral ceremony to honor the being that did not make it to this side this time around. She may journal about her feelings, join a support group or attend individual therapy to work through any emotions regarding the loss. The parents to be should take as much time as they need to mourn the loss. It’s important, especially for the mom, not to just get up and resume life as though nothing ever happened.
How to prevent ectopic pregnancies
The main way to prevent ectopic pregnancy is to ensure the health of the fallopian tubes. When a couple is considering getting pregnant, the woman can get a routine pap and also request a sonogram to evaluate the health of her fallopian tubes. A skilled sonographer can even see the tiny hairs called cilia. The cilia helps transport the fertilized egg to the uterus. The body should be well hydrated. The bowels should be emptying regularly and fully. The clothing should be loose and not too restrictive. Foods for good fallopian tube health include grapefruit, oranges, and pomegranates.
Also, women should not let vaginal infections go too long. Use protection and get tested. Untreated infections can damage the cilia and fallopian tube function. Birth control pills, shots and implants have also been linked to ectopic pregnancy and hormonal dysfunction.
What the community do
As a community, we must support women in our lives who experience an ectopic pregnancy just as we would if she just had a baby. Stop by to visit. Bring soup and tea for her. Offer to help around the house. Just be a listening ear. Provide her with resources like grief groups or pregnancy loss groups. Keep a close eye on the mom and dad. Open the windows to let mom get some sunshine each day. Bring her fresh flowers and surround her with colors, sounds and smells that will uplift her spirits.
I love Pap and Remy. I pray for their continued success and for their family to continue to prosper.