Many have been speculating for months that Cardi B was pregnant. Cardi B revealed her pregnancy on her own time on SNL in a beautiful white gown. The world is now celebrating with her. I for one did not jump on the speculation bandwagon. I respect women’s privacy and decision on when or if to reveal a pregnancy.
I can’t help but to imagine being Cardi B’s doula. If I were her doula, here are a few things I would be covering with her:
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A doula is a wonderful addition to your birth team. The doula is not there to replace your partner, mother, mother-in-law, best friend or sister. Our role is to be well integrated on the birth team and facilitate everyone on the birth team being on the same page.
When it comes to your partner, a doula can help your overall experience as a couple, thus creating a more intimate, memorable and positive birth experience. Below are some strategies the doula may employ with the Dad to enrich the overall labor journey. There's a myth out of here of the post-baby "snapback." This is the false idea that a mother must immediately shed all of her baby weight after delivery. It's the false idea that a mother should immediately get back to doing everything she did before the baby. The U.S. is the worse perpetuator of this false idea. Everyday women see celebrities seemingly back to their pre-pregnancy weight in a matter of a couple of days or weeks.
This “image” of the “snap back” is a mix of illusion – photoshop, editing, lighting, angles and waist trainers. Many people commented on Beyoncé's first public picture with her twins about how great it is that she is thin again. The Carters are billionaires and only heaven knows what type of access they have to specialists of every kind. This is not the case for the average mother and family. Like millions of other Black women in this country, I have struggled with anxiety and depression frm time to time. I’ve shard a lot of tips and advice about overcoming both in the blog.
Being depressed and generally feeling down in the dumps can totally demolish your self-confidence. You need to feel confident to make wise decisions that are in alignment with your Spirit. You need to be confident to have healthy relationships, try new things, see things through and generally feel good about yourself. Did you know that a distorted perception of your pregnancy, comparing yourself to others, and negative self-talk are major contributors to stress and anxiety? Another cause of stress and anxiety is living in the past or projecting into the future.
Living in the past or projecting into the future disconnects you from yourself and your present moment. Pain (stress, anxiety, worry, grief, etc.) is the derived from this disconnection. The further away you are from the present moment and the more deeply you are engaging and reacting to the past or future, the greater the pain. Our sister Remy Ma and our brother Papoose shared their experience with an ectopic pregnancy on Love and Hip Hop New York. I love this couple to the core. Amid foolishness and ratchetness, this strong Black couple has presented a beautiful manifestation of true Black love, loyalty and family on national television.
It has been an honor and privilege for this couple to let us into their life and daily experiences. We see the real triumphs and struggles of a modern Black family life. We all saw their wedding and re-commitment to each other during Remy’s dream wedding. Papoose was ready to immediately start expanding that family. So since we’ve been following them so closely and feeling apart of their family, we were so happy to learn that Remy and Papoose became pregnant. Then soon after we learned that the pregnancy was ectopic. |